pointless.

nothing is right these last few days. this is because of a low pressure system, which we have been sailing through for over a week now, almost constantly....a new bermuda to canada itenerary involves a lot more seadays than usual, and each day at sea has been worse than the last, the ship under constant attacks by 20 foot waves that spray the top decks relentlessly. sleep is impossible because the entire world is moving under you, which is not too bad, indeed has in the past been praised bei mir for its rocking lulling rockabye rock, but now in violent sporadic bursts there are bombings...a boomingcrash followed by ten seconds of back and forth aftershocking, so traumatic that the whack of wave wall sends cackling ghost images of sinking directly into my head, THWACK!! and the room itself creaking protest songs all night. drawers are left on the ground and oh my god it never stops. no one is happy, as the stumble about the mess tired and cranky and unstable, coffee spilling and christ when will it end looks of disbelief on all the young international faces. a short storm is fun...a week of this is madness inviting.

further frustrations abound in this wartorn enviornment...worst for me is sporadic computer functioning due to wild weather, and on top of this yahoo mails 48 hours+ of outtacommission...whether this is a yahoo thing or some strange low pressure bug that has infested the three working computers on the ship, i cannot say. (positively aching to send certain someones certain someloves, rest assured. also in need of timely email from me is my sister, who celebrates her birthday today, so let it be said here at least love and 35 kisses and soon to see and thank you for all.) but playing too is wildly stressful, as we are rocked nearly out of our chairs as the ship shakes and moans during a nightmare version of delilah, the stage filled with schizoid light rays and smoke machine excess as scotsman jack walker falls to the groud and i pound out fm9 triplets which the earth moving underneath conspires into gm9s against my will. i held the knife in my hand and she cried no more. last nights lunar eclipse glimpsed under black sheet of clouds, and when she did emerge the shaking boat frame caused the moon to appear to be hanging from a rubber band, bouncing playful throgh the sky. gorgeous. and shake shake whack again.

spent part of our last night in bermuda riding a shoppng cart through the abandoned streets of 5am hamilton. that was not right either, but at least that disreality had the wind in my hair in a continual flow, not these jerks and starts. how i long for a smooth ripple of time to pet my back, low to high all night long.

the challenge of alec duffy

is a great one. he will force you to be yourself and to ignore the world around you. or, more accurately, to ignore your perception of how the world around you may be percieving you. you cannot count on him to behave...you may only count on him to trumpet loud loud to the genral public inside of bookstores, post offices, home depots, etc. you are to join in, and not blush, not shy away from how they make think of you.

i usually come with, so intoxicating is the feeling of the world being just for you. i draw a line when i feel he is actually infringing on the happiness of others, making them uncomfortable, etc. alec does not stop at this point, because he has learned that it is okay to be disliked. related is his flee from buddhism and embrace of anger at appropriate times. alec always tells me to do whatever i want to do.

alec recently made me stop in my tracks with one of his theories of theater.

i do not really want to post this guest article that i asked him to write.

Guest Article, by Alec Duffy

I sailed on and its purple the sea with Dave Malloy. We listened to
said Mario (or I did), because you have to on the 11th deck he's so
loud singing Simon and Garfunkel in mellifluous. Dave and I really
listened to the Philipino trio singing Elvis ballads so good in three
part harmony and soft guitar. what a soothe.

Dave took me for drinks and we met no-one. He wouldn't talk to the
other people on his ship, though they would reach out. Dave is
uncomfortable with the unweird. And so he brushes by them as they
call "Malloy!" So we had lots of room for cuddling in my stateroom
and ordering room service Black Forest Cake and coffee.

Dave revealed he was obsessive/compulsive by re-arranging and fixing
my whole Itunes library (over 17 GB of songs). Thank you, DAVE!

Dave and I drank Dark and Stormys of rum and ginger beer and then we
danced like they do in Brazil, that fighting dance. Caparinha, or
whatever it is. The others just looked on.

I sat and watched him play keyboard in the band, playing for Elliot
Finkel ("son of the small-screen legend Faivish Finkel"). They
played piano versions of Santana and Broadway songs.

We both got brazilian waxes in the salon. Dave footed the $80 bill.
Thank you, DAVE!

He showed me his hidden beach, yes he did. Not before ditching the
Danish drummer. We rolled around in the warm tide and tried to mount
a big rock.

What was my favorite part of the trip? His excitement/nervousness
about what the following week would hold. And how he talked physics.

And now I'm back on the shore. I went to Bermuda and I came back.
I'll never go again. But I sure did have a good time with Dave.
Glad we could share. We were both so longing. And it was sweet.